June is bustin' out all over!

Well hello! It’s almost the middle of June (what? how?).

There’s a full moon coming on June 15th, by the way, so if you are a person who is into moon energy, keep an eye on that, and maybe figure out what no longer serves you and what you want to release and do that.

June is known for being wedding season (which means, by the way, that it is also anniversary season), and it turns out that I have three greeting cards that are perfect for that:

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If any of these are your jam, they are available in my online shop for $5 each, or 3 for $13.50 (and there are another 20 or so options from which to choose). These cards are also available at Olde Pear Primitives on Lafayette Street in Cape May, New Jersey, and at MADE. Artisan Marketplace in Woodbury, NJ (though I think you only get the discount on multiples at my site). They are all blank inside, and if you’d like ideas for easy copy to add inside, I’ve got you covered here:

• Wishing you a lifetime of happiness!

• Celebrating your life together,

• I/we are so happy for the two of you!

• You go together like tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches!

Okay, so maybe that last option is a bit too out there, but those first three are solid starters. And here’s a pro tip: if you don’t plan on writing too much more, just start with your phrase in the middle of the middle of the inside of the card, not at the top, so you don’t feel like you have to add a whole lot more.

What else I’ve got going on

I popped into the local library earlier this week to pick up a bag full of books, and was immediately reminded that I still have paintings on display at the Monroe Township Library in Williamstown, NJ. From left to right, the three paintings are “Beyond Fences”, “Muriel’s Garden”, and “Shine”. Here they are, from two angles:

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Small luxuries

Let’s start with massage: I made myself a promise at the start of 2018 to do better at taking care of myself—my physical and mental health—and I went and signed up for a membership at Hand & Stone (one of several large chains that offers monthly memberships—I picked this one because it was closest to my house). When I did it, I felt like I was being extravagant. Like, perhaps, I wasn’t worth it. Even though I knew for a fact that massage really helps with my fibromyalgia, and can lower my stress levels, thereby benefiting both the fibro and my rheumatoid arthritis.

I promised myself I’d just try it for six months and then see what I wanted to do . . . and here I am, something like 16 months later. Today I paid extra for a CBD oil massage and I swear I’ve never felt so relaxed. Even the usual massage helps, though—it reduces the number of adhesions I have (basically scar tissue on my muscle fascia) and helps to release many of the knots that develop pretty much everywhere. As a result, I can turn my head further to each side, stretch my arms over my head on occasion, and more. Some of these things have improved over time, month by month, as I go for massages regularly. And some of my symptoms have at least not gotten any worse.

One of the other differences between January of 2018 and today, though, has been a shift in my thinking. I understand that massage isn’t free. And while it’s not super expensive at about $60 per month, it’s definitely something that still counts as a luxury. Because Merriam-Webster defines luxury as a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort. To which I say HELL YEAH, a massage is a luxury. It is also, now, for me, not something I’m unworthy of; it has become instead one of my necessities. Because the age of 55, I have started to embrace the idea that I deserve to live with grace and ease.

Let me digress and back up for a minute: Over the years, I’ve been certain that I needed to work hard, and work a lot, and struggle. I needed to hustle, to prove myself, to try to keep up with others, to make a mark. And I suppose I partly did that — put myself through college and law school, had a job as a lawyer and a house and two kids and a dog and a cat. I did all the cooking and cleaning, all the mowing and landscaping, all the sewing of Halloween costumes, scrambling like a hamster in a wheel, and in the end, I got sick with one, and then two, autoimmune conditions.

I couldn’t work a full-time job anymore, so rather than do nothing, I embarked on a writing career. And there was a time when my network was amazing, you guys, and my blog was one of the top-read blogs in children’s literature. And then stuff happened (my now ex got cancer, and then got better, and then we eventually got divorced), and it all sort of slipped away when I wasn’t looking. Then I met my wonderful Morris and fell in love and started to pay more attention to energy—not just “how much energy do I have today?” but also to the idea of qi energy and feng shui and reiki and more, and started to see that there might be ways of living that were more “in flow.”

This is partly why I decided to purchase the local honey from Mystical Blossoms, a local herbology business run by sisters Jody and Michaline—it’s from local bees, raised in a sustainable manner, with lavender oil added to it, and reiki done during the process. This honey is admittedly more expensive than a similar sized jar of mass-produced honey of indistinct origin at the grocery store. I also require less than half the amount of this honey to sweeten my tea, and the taste is amazing. I get the added benefit of supporting a local, woman-owned business (and if you’ve been around here for a while, you know I love being able to support local businesses and woman-owned businesses, so this is dear to my heart), some delicious tea, and the added benefit of feeling like my afternoon cup of tea is a true luxury. (The mug was a gift from my daughter Sara, and was purchased by her from a woman-owned local-to-Charleston business at the Farmer’s Market, and I LOVE IT.)

And as for Global Entry . . . well, it costs $100. And I know that I don’t “need” it in order to travel home from other countries, though it does include TSA pre-check, so it doubles as a help for domestic travel as well. But my sweetheart and I have at least two trips planned in the next two years, and the idea of not having to stand in the customs line for close to an hour (as we did the last two times we re-entered the US) appeals strongly to me. Especially since air travel usually causes my joints to become super painful (something to do with the combo of RA and pressurized cabins), so long periods of standing immediately after deplaning can be debilitating. And as I said earlier, I’m working toward embracing the idea that I deserve to live with grace and ease.

And I believe that you deserve that, too.

This is 55

On Monday, I turned 55. There are days when I feel it, and days when I don’t. Most days I don’t feel my age—I don’t think about it at all, and I essentially exist out of time. And though I will always answer truthfully when asked my age (or round up — I know, it’s backwards), I usually feel somewhere in my late 30s. Birthdays and mirrors can therefore be a bit of a shock.

This year was an unusual birthday celebration, since I am back in South Carolina for at least another week, and therefore away from my sweetheart. I woke up to a birthday card he’d sent along with me (and another from my aunt, who came to offer respite care for me so I could get home last week for my own medical treatment). I woke up to a text from one of my best friends, and another from my daughter who is overseas in the Peace Corps. My husband sang “happy birthday” to me on the phone, and did a marvelous job in each of the four keys he chose for his rendition. My parents wished me a happy birthday with a card and a gift. I spoke by phone with my other daughter, heard by text from my brother , and got email photos of the best hand-made birthday card from my nieces and nephews. And there were scores of messages on FB and other social media.

All in all, it was a good day. And I realize I have posted about several good—even great—days lately. And I got to thinking that all this good news doesn’t give you a true idea of things.

Because, in fact, yesterday might have been okay, but it was not actually a great day.

I am, at heart, a homebody, and I have been away from home too long. I would be ever so much more chill about that if Morris was here with me, but of course he is home with our cat, teaching tai chi and qigong classes and largely fending for himself (though I did manage to cook three dishes for him while I was home for a couple days last week, so he’d have home-cooked food). I’ve been here in South Carolina for five weeks (so far), with only 2-1/2 days at home. Plus I was away from home for two weeks in late January/early February to visit other family in North Carolina. It’s been wearing. It’s been frustrating. It’s been lonely, even.

And I share this in hopes that you will realize that all the “wins” you’ve been seeing are not the whole of my story. Those wins are real, and are—in the case of having my cards and art in Cape May—quite literally a dream come true.

But there’s a lot that isn’t going well just now. I feel untethered. I miss my husband and my house and my cat. I miss my studio and my art supplies. I miss the ability to play music or watch what I want on TV, if that’s what I want to do. I miss cooking dinner. I miss my light-colored walls, miss being able to burn incense if I want, miss setting my own schedule each day. I mean, I set a schedule here, but it’s very much dictated by the demands of my father’s feeding tube.

So, yes, I’m excited to have artwork on display in the Monroe Township Public Library in Williamstown, NJ. That’s a big win! What I didn’t tell you is that I’ve had two recent instances where my work wasn’t accepted, one with a private entity and one with a state organization. And yes, I’m thrilled about having my work listed on Fine Art America, and represented in The Grand Galleria in Williamstown, and at Mystic Ginger Collective in Blackwood. But so far, I don’t believe anything of mine has sold at those locations. And yes yes yes, I am over the moon at having my greeting cards and artwork in Olde Pear Primitives in Cape May, but of course the store hasn’t opened yet, and also that niggling voice of “what if” keeps coming to whisper in my ear. I do the best I can to ignore it, of course, but still . . .tl; dr

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All of which is to say—and if you are still here and reading this, thank you—that I appreciate you being here, and want you to know that my life is just as messy as anyone else’s. Yes I’ve had wins, which have been on display, but there are a bunch of other losses along the way, both business-wise and on a personal level. So please know that if you are struggling, I see you. If you have been reading my public-facing stuff and thinking “wow, she’s got it so good”, this post is to remind you that public-facing stuff isn’t the full extent of any life. And that life is inherently messy. I know I’ve sometimes read posts by other people and felt a bit envious that they are succeeding, especially if it’s during a time when I feel like I’m . . . not.

But here’s the thing: I believe that we can all succeed. Yes, at the same time. I believe that life isn’t a competition. That we all deserve to feel safe and accepted and loved. That we all deserve to take whatever actions are necessary for us to achieve that. That your success does not mean that I have failed in some way, or am less-than (and that my successes don’t take away from or diminish yours in any way). I believe that we all deserve to be happy, and that we can choose happiness for ourselves, and then choose it yet again.

If you are a long-time reader here, you know I believe that we can choose to be happy. And you also know that I understand that we all have what I call fallow periods, where we aren’t necessarily getting a ton accomplished. In fact, I wrote a post about fallow times, and about how important self-care is during those time periods, and it was just what I needed to remind myself of today. And please know that part of what I’ve been doing (and you’ve been seeing) is me celebrating my wins, whether they are large or small. Because celebration goes with gratitude, and all of that raises your vibe or your energy and can lead to a happier life. Here’s my post from last year on “Six ways to celebrate the little things.” It’s me choosing abundance, something I strongly encourage you to do, even though (as I wrote here) an abundant life doesn’t mean things are always easy.

So this is me, raising my glass to you. Here’s to another trip around the sun, and to choosing happiness, self-care, celebration, and abundance.

Choosing an Abundance Mindset

When I talk about abundance, I think of this definition of it “plentifulness of the good things of life; prosperity.” Or sometimes, I think in terms of enough-ness. Having enough good things to be in a positive state. Which can actually mean not having mad amounts of money or luxury items. It can mean having a place to live, feeling relatively safe, having food on the table, and so forth.

As you may recall from last week, my younger daughter is in the Peace Corps in Lesotho. She has to fill a five-gallon bucket at a communal tap that’s nearly a quarter mile from her house, and carry it home. That’s used for cooking, bathing, washing up, etc. And she uses a ditch latrine. For her, and for the people she lives among, running water and an actual toilet are a luxury. Yet she manages to maintain a sense of enough-ness because she has water and a private rondavel in which to live, and she always has food and clothing. Early on in her time in Lesotho, she met a volunteer who focused on the things that she didn’t like; sure enough, that volunteer opted to go home rather than finish her assignment.

Which brings me to the salient point of today’s post:

You get to create your reality; you get to decide whether you are living an abundant life or a life of lack. To borrow a cliché, you get to say whether the glass if half full, or half empty. Choose half full. When you focus on the positive, you are far more likely to attract positive things in your life.

Choose Abundance.

Sometimes life changes directions on you

There I was, in my studio in my house in New Jersey, making art and making plans for sales events, like the Borough of Glass Art Walk and Night Market in Glassboro last weekend (which got rained out entirely, but not until after I'd already canceled) and like this Fourth Friday in Pitman (which I will hope does not get rained out for the folks planning on being there, but I can't). And then last Tuesday I got a phone call that involved my father and the ER and some bloody vomit (not using British curse words here), and I dropped all the things (nearly literally) and flew to South Carolina on Wednesday. At the time, I planned to come home Friday, figuring it wasn't super serious, though I figured it might be an ulcer.

And then I was at the ICU where he stayed for several days, and the GI scope showed a malignant mass in his esophagus, and I extend my stay until today, and then until next Wednesday, and now I'm deciding how much further I can push it before I have to be in New Jersey for my own medical care in a couple of weeks. (Autoimmune issues means IV infusions, and I'm not about to miss out on the fun of my very own IV!)

So next week is a PET scan and an oncologist visit, and I have no idea when I will be back to making art (or back home with my sweetheart), but that is okay. Because it has to be okay. And I am grateful that I can be here where I am currently needed most. And I'm staying positive by protecting and raising my own energy as much as I'm able using the essential oils I brought along (shoutout to Patchouli for keeping me calm and Acceptance for living up to its name) and daily meditation. I'd add in exercise if only it weren't the temperature and moisture level of Satan's armpit down here.

Seven ways to clear and raise your own energy

In mid-June, just ahead of solstice, I shared a post with 5 ways to clear the energy in your home. Happy energy inside your home (or your workspace) is definitely a good thing, and helps to support positive energy for you and anyone else who lives, works, or visit there. But there are times when we all get bogged down. Maybe we are tired and hangry; maybe we've had one thing after another go wrong, or nothing is going our way; maybe we've been hanging out with people who drag us down.

I mean, all of that happens. And sometimes more than one of those things happens at once. It's easy when that occurs to lose a bit of our shine, and even to allow ourselves to wallow. After all, what can we do to change it?

Well, I'm glad I asked. Because I have some thoughts on this one. 

Love, Breath, Air

First, do what you can to release any negative energy that may have attached to you (or been pushed on you) by other people or the general state of the world. Then, do what you can to raise your vibration (your own personal energy vibration) and get yourself into a better frame of mind. Here are some specific actions you can take to clear, raise, and protect your own energy levels

Salt baths: 

You could choose to literally wash away and neutralize negative energy by taking a salt bath: add two cups of Epsom salts to a warm-to-hot bath and soak for 20-30 minutes. Sea salt also works, and some folks swear by a combination of Epsom and sea salts; others add one quarter cup of baking soda to help neutralize chemicals present in the water (such as chlorine), though I'm not 100% clear on the science here. I typically add 8-10 drops of therapeutic-grade essential oils to my tub as well. Oils smell good, and they can have their own health benefits. Lavender is calming and relaxing; peppermint is invigorating and good if you have sinus issues or a headache. 

Epsom salts have all sorts of health benefits, since they are composed of magnesium sulfate: the magnesium is absorbed through the skin, and can help with migraines, digestive issues, and more. One trick is to keep your feet in the water during the bath to allow all that warmth and salt to wash around the reflexology points all over your feet. Another is to slide down and get the back of your neck into the water for a while as well, to allow the warm water to work its magic on any tension you carry there. And finally, pull the plug (or, more likely these days, flip the drain switch) while you are still in the tub and imagine any and all negativity washing away from you and down the drain. 

Happy tunes:

We all have different ones that we like, so I'm not giving you an exact playlist. But play the music that makes you smile, or makes you want to shake your groove thing. Bonus points to you if you actually shake it, since that will get the qi circulating in your body and circulating is better than stuck any day.

Go outside.

Yes. Outside is an amazing place. During the daytime there is sunshine (or the cleansing power of rain or snow), and at nighttime there are stars and the moon. Maybe you can't see them, but you can feel that they are up there. You can get some fresh air. Feel the breeze or wind (if there is any). And even in a city, you can find places where you can hear the birds as they call to one another. You can share some tree energy if you'd like (from admiring them to sitting in their cool shade to literally hugging them). But just being out in Nature is a proven energy booster. 

Exercise:

Good news! You can pair this one with being outside AND listening to happy music, for an energy-boosting trifecta! Turns out that getting a move-on, whether it's walking or running, Pilates, yoga or weight-lifting, hiking, biking, swimming, surfing, skiing, or tai chi, is not just good for your physical health; it's also good for your mental health and your energy levels. Yes, I get that you may be tired afterward and feel you have less energy than before you started, but the energy levels we're talking about are more like mood and state of mind. Those are likely to be elevated after exercise.

Meditate:

I mean, I'm sure you figured this would be on the list, right? And that's because meditation works. If you can't get around to exercising (and hey, I get that -- sometimes I am physically unable to do too much due to two chronic autoimmune conditions that cause pain and fatigue), meditation can be just as effective at helping your brain (there are studies on this) and can reduce pain, boost mood, and more. And there are some forms of exercise that marry meditation with movement, such as qigong, tai chi, or walking a labyrinth. Any form of regular meditation works to reduce stress and can improve mood and energy levels by detaching from other people (and their energy) and finding your own center. It helps to stabilize and recalibrate your own energy vibration. And it helps you remember that YOU are the one who gets to decide how to react and/or how to view things that happen in your life. When paired with any of the other energy tips in this post, you are bound to raise your own vibration.

Essential oils and crystals:

Possibly more "woo-woo" than some of the other items on the list, but so many people swear by these that I'd be remiss in not mentioning them. It turns out that essential oils each have their own energy vibrations, and those with high vibrations can raise a person's energy vibration. The same thing goes for crystals, which vibrate at their own frequencies as well. Some of them (black onyx, jet, black obsidian) are supposed to offer protection against negative energy; others such as rose quartz enhance love and reduce stress; amethyst helps to quiet the mind. I'm not going into great detail on these since there are so many oils and stones out there, but if either of those options appeals to you, by all means get in touch and I'll do what I can to point you in the right direction.

In closing

When I make my art, I first make sure that my studio is full of positive energy, often using the techniques I described in my solstice post. I also make sure that I'm in a good place energetically, and that I'm putting positive vibes into my artwork and my paint strokes or other techniques. It's my way of making art that vibrates at a high frequency.